Joy in the Mundane?

Marcel Proust once wrote that the "real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Sometimes it seems like my life is just eat, work and sleep. Yet, surprisingly, I seem to be at peace with it. Maybe there is some security in knowing that you can accomplish things, eat, and sleep, only to start over again.
Since I am in a routine, I have to get creative about how I do this routine, I have to find joy in little things. For example, today, I really was amazed by how sunlight reflects the surface water of a lake. Its all so perfect, how the invigorating rays dances with the waves, throwing sunbeams to all who catch this. These are the things that give me hope and keep me going:)

First day of a lot of daylight

So today I have been working on various projects, mostly around the house and some here on the computer. I was up at around 8 this morning, thinking I might have to go into project upward bound's (where I work) ited testing session, but I found out that they had enough staff to supervise the testing, so I did not have to go. Since I pretty much saw the sunrise, I figured, why not stay with it the whole day? When you live in a subdivision, taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon in the summer doesn't happen at all. There are noises everywhere, and its usually lawnmowers. Not that that is a bad thing. I actually really like the fact that people are keeping their houses and lawns up. This is good for the economy and good for our property values. The continuous hum of the mowers did serve as a sort of drum beat for my working on certain projects today. Stunningly, I have accomplished a lot in the last six hours, considering that I did not get a lot of sleep due to an overzealous skunk who probably got into some kind of a conflict with some other animal and decided to let us all know that summer is here with a midnight dose of natural built in skunk defense spray-odor. The aroma waifed its way from the deck area to the house and eventually to where I was sleeping. I agonzied as I tossed and turned, trying not to think about that nasty burnt rubber smell, so indicative a skunk in the springtime, that kept hovering around every square inch of the house and lawn. So today I will continue to work on the computer and use my flameless candle burner in an attempt to put things a right in the world of appropriate aroma. So in the last six hours I was able to do three loads of laundry, clean the bathroom, and work on the computer. I credit this industriousness with the increase in daylight and the fact that it's simply a beautiful day. Also, there are people (due to the weather) out and about everywhere, so as a natural human who has that sheep-like nature, I just do what everybody else is doing on a day like today:)

Destiny, gifts, perspectives and the land of good and evil

This whole concept of destiny, the purpose, the plan. Why am I here? What contribution will I make to the world? What are they going to say about me after I leave it?....
Ever wonder about old acquaintances or people that you hear of years ago, and have a fleeting thought about where they might be now? Back in the day, there was really no way of knowing unless by chance you happened to run into them or know of someone who did. But today, hindsight and things like Facebook, internet archives, and just new ways of finding information allow us to catch up with people, to see and realize things about them that perhaps we didn't know before. We know more about people now (seemingly when they are not a major presence in our lives) then, I think, we could have known back then (when they were a major presence). Another example: We read about a celebrity when they were up and comming in Hollywood and look at their life today as Hollywood vetrans and think, "so that's why so and so did that or does that." I think we are allowed to see the complexity of creation (people specifically) and its (their) purpose in deeper ways than people could in past generations. Its an interesting... and kind of weird time to be alive. The scriptures speak of a time when "knowledge will increase."
Is having knowledge a good thing? Yes absolutely, but I think its, at the same time, very dangerous if you don't look at that whole picture. For example, someone may see one thing about a person and assume they are like that all the time. Yes, that person has knowlege about that person, but its not full knowlege because they do not know that person well enough to predict with some accuracy how a person may react in different situations. So with our increased knowledge, we must always try our best to put it into the fullest context that we can. No sound blurb or twitter tweet, helpful as they may be, could ever give us a full and accurate context of every situation.
As a spiritual person, I beleive that our natural eyes don't see the whole picture of anything. There is a saying that where we see an acorn, G-d sees a forrest. I believe that we were created with purpose and given gifts and abilities to glorify G-d, whether we choose to recognize Him or not. Then as a Christ follower, I have learned that belivers are also given spiritual gifts to coincide with their natural gifts and this edifies the body of believers.
I also believe that G-d's enemy, satan, has a thing for taking these gifts, be they both spiritual and or natural, and twisting them out of proportion to cause confusion for the seeker and division for the Christ-followers. The enemy has probably found this a very effective way to thwart and pervert G-d's plan that all humanity would come to function as was intended by the Creator. The result: spiritual confusion and disillusion with G-d.
Sometimes for us in the body of believers, we tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to our lives in the context of G-d's plan.... I see something now (like a certain worship style or perference).... I don't understand it, so I become aggressive. Or maybe my zeal gets the best of me, and I take my eyes off of the cross and onto imperfect people saying that this group worships better than that group or this group activates this gift better than that group. The problem lies in my "better than" thinking.
If I say,"oh, go to this church because their (insert something here) is better than that church" or something like that, or I think in my heart a snarky thought about how someone worships (such as "well, it figures so and so would go there because they are___") I am definatly not looking through the big picture, seeing the church as a global body that composes the bride of Christ. I'm just focusing on factions, in other words, I'm majoring on minors, and with my personality, a constantly am aware that I have the capability to go off on minors at any point, often to my detriment. There is nothing edifying in my heart attitude when I'm like this. James 4 hits it home for me. "What causes fight and quarrels among you? Do they not come from the evil desires that battle within you?" Sometimes Christ followers stumble in their journey, alot of times, we even stumble over each other.
Why then, does G-d allow there to be churches that think, act, and worship differently? Why isn't there just one church directly connected with Him? I guess my weird response would be.. it is One. Out of many, its one (factions and all). All of the different chruches around the world in the context of their individual cultures show us a different attribute of a mighty God. Sometimes I see the strength and beauty of G-d when I watch Asain beleivers worship. When I was in Sweden, I recall being reminded of the loving and gentle nature of God as I watched the people worship in their reflective manner. In my African American brothers and sisters, I am reminder of Christ's zeal for his children and intense passion. Its as if each culture is a different colored chip that composes an ever shifting and re-shaping kalidescope of one God's individual attributes. You wouldn't fully know Him until the individual shapes move again and you see a brand new formation, but its all the same kalidescope. We are always learning new things about Him from our perspective, but He Himself never changes.
What must I do then, to see all of the kalidescope, to gain broader knowledge? Let the kalidescope turn. Allow G-d to show me His attributes through whatever way he chooses. This may mean visiting a service where the congregations emphasizes a differnt aspect of God than what I am usually used to pondering. For example, for a Christ follower who emphaizes the joy of the Lord, let them visit another body that emphaizes the value of suffering and how that can produce character. For a believer who is acquainted with the work of suffering, let them visit a congregation that focuses on joy in the Lord. Rather than being at each other's throat's and quarreling a like little children over gifts (after all, when you think about it, both joy and suffering are gifts if they produce a positive result) we can embrace each other's perspective on the value of each gift and bring glory to the creator.
Well, that's it for now. Off to go and explore what new things I can learn about life, spirituality, knowledge and just plain old fun in this thrilling, dangerous, wonderful, and facinating journey.

preparation for summer

So now I have to get the house I am renting ready for summer. First for me though, I need to get some summer clothes. Due to living on a severely tight budget, I first have to purchase some cheap summer clothing. It ain't gonna be anything fancy at all, I'm just gonna buy some slightly oversized t-shirts and soccer shorts. It will last me the whole summer. Next I have to keep being diligent about certain things, such as getting stocked up on summer snacks (light crackers and cheese, jimmy johns sandwiches (will last a day or two), and of course that awesome arnold palmer ice-tea lemonade. Its amazing how much money goes just to keeping you alive. Sustinance is basically the majority of my budget.
Gardening is another thing I like to do, that relates to summer, but not in a lame sort of way. Gardening can be full of action.. you battle your garden's weeds and all of their cousins who appeared after your last weeding session, you treck out early to avoid the heat of day and strategically think of how much time you have to get as many soil breaking and weed combating maneuvers that can be done before your arch-enemy, the sun's uv rays discovers your hidden location under a tree and makes you aware of this fact by aiming its blistering rays at your face. I can't wait......but this, to me is what I would expect for an awesome summer!

The End of Winter

So I thought now would be a fine time to pay a tribute to Winter, since it has left us. What is it that makes winter so grueling, and not necessarily a time of the year to look forward to? The coldness and piles of snow no doubt. Yet it seems to have a magnetic attraction when I see pictures of snow covered landscapes. Powerful images of majestic evergreens against a bright azure blue sky, and I am drawn in like a wafarer to the light of a cabin. Perhaps winter, with all of its viscousness and coldness comes to us to make us better. How could I appreciate spring If I had not been taught a firm lesson from the stininging windblown snow that pricks at ones face like the branches of evergreens they will come to rest on? And being inside forces you to be creative. What is funner to paint than a landscape? Some of the most beautiful nature images come from the harshest climates. I'm going to enjoy the end of this season with a purpose. A chicken cordon bleu in the oven, a cup of tea in hand and the violin string quartet in the background, and we bid a farewell to the ending snowfalls that give their last hurrah.

So Spring did arrive. I can verify because I can now walk around outside without a coat. Still a little windy though, but that's to be expected for March. As exhilerating as this news is, I still must keep in mind the reality that each day brings me closer to summer, and that means a lot of unknowns. Will see what happens a few months from now.

Will spring EVER arrive?

Last night it snowed a good inch or two. Melted today though. Dad gave the official announcement of his impending retirement to his co-workers. They were all happy for him as he announced that he is moving on to a new phase of life after 39 years of being employed at the same place. They are going to have two parties for the people who are retiring this year.
I find myself in the same phase...sort of. Not having anything to do with retirement (that is a long way off for me, Lol) but in the sense that hopefully I can find full time work. I will definitely keep my writing center job, and continue to take classes, but like all of us, I dream of things that I can do to my house and the bills I could pay if more income found its way to me.
And who knows where I will be in five years. People often ask that question about where do you see yourself in five years, and I have my ideas, but I am so skeptical about whether my dreams will come true. Life and I are sometimes at odds with each other. Life has thrown me so many curve balls, which sometimes I was able hit and sometimes I wasn't. But were marching on, and that is a good thing. We have to keep moving. I recall traveling to the Holy Land and seeing the two seas that were polar opposites of each other. The dead sea never moves. It doesn't march on so to speak. However, Lake Genesaret, also known as the sea of Galilee, is one of the most interesting and beautiful lakes where plenty of fish abide. There is life there because this sea moves and the other one doesn't. I hope my life is like the sea of Galilee, to walk with my lord by the waters that teem with life, that I suppose is my perpetual goal.